Number 2.

Sometimes, you mouth just talks faster than your brain can think. For example, I tried to save my show today by recounting a live and humorous personal experience. My mind was moving slower than my mouth, however, and the humor was lost leaving mere confusion in its wake.

The story was supposed to be about normal people having to take bowl movements on the side of the road. We know we’ve all been there before. There’s that sudden pain but we’re in the car or on a walk…come on now. Most people, if being honest, have either had to pull over and poop or have seriously debated the idea. Some individuals have too much pride and would prefer soiling their pants. My topic of conversation was about those brave individuals who had taken their business to the side of the road. I thought it would be humorous for callers to call in and recount their own embarrassing yet ‘relieving moments’. This, however, was not what came across the air. Somehow, I equated pooping on the side of the road with having a bad day. This was not intentional but two of my thought patterns ran together and out of my mouth. The first being “I was having a bad day” and the second being “poop happens”. I guess you could say that my mouth had diarrhea.

Since no one called in, I think I should have broken the ice by talking about peeing first. I have many humorous personal experiences of ‘number one’ emergencies to share. Maybe I’ll grace the airwaves on Thursday with some of them if I can get my brain up to speed with my chatty analogous mouth. Beware, I may blame peeing on the side of the road on having a bad day because we pooped on the lawn. Who knows.